She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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