yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
