OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
