honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
