just tell him i said nine months
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you win again, gameday.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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