Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
