nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
