Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
whose parrot is this?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
sex in a hospital.. check
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
