I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
