Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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