My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
