the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
