haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize