i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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