Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize