why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
