Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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