i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
