Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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