I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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