either way he was missing a nipple.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
