hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
