just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
