That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize