i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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