Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
