Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
