And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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