I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
