we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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