yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
