omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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