And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
