Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had to cum in my sink.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
