The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
