I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize