You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
