i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
