I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
