how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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