chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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