that's an acceptable place to lick
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
