I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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