Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
