Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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