There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
