can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
