just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
