At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
