areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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