when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize