me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
