"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
