it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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