Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
