Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
