that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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